0606

Sleeping is giving in no matter what the time is.

Let me just start by saying thank you to my faithful 20( I'm guessing ) readers,
without you I would feel stupid when I say 'hello'
or say stuff like 'you know that feeling' or many of my other conversationalist sentences.
This one time my views went up to 600+ when dingxuan left my link on her page.
Yes, that is the sad difference between my best friend and I.

Fortunately for me, I do not care for these kinds of things.
I just need at least one person to read my blog because I think I'm pretty funny and want to make him/her laugh Also because I think I can write pretty well sometimes.
I have my days.
Although they come as little and as lame as probably something like...the eclipse.

Well, you see I was just wondering what this life is about and all and I realized that it has no meaning. I don't mean it in the emotional I'minapostbreakupphase/Ijustlostmyjob kind of way.
It really just has no meaning, I'm not saying it's not fun and all.
Don't get me wrong, I love it.
Maybe it's cause I have no idea what it's about hence it's meaningless.
Something can't really have meaning if you don't know what it is me thinks. 

Digressing, what is this constant competition with each other for?
I say this as I contradict myself because I for one love competition.
But I have no idea what this drive is for and where it comes from.
and what point am I trying to prove and even if I have proven my point.
I don't actually gain anything out of it.
Also, what is this with being popular? I don't understand it.
I remember wanting to be popular when I was a kid.
Maybe because of the show popular I can remember the typography and everything.
When I was 13, I wanted to be popular so badly I joined a sports extra curricular activity.
But when I became popular ( maybe in my head but I'm pretty sure I had a lot of friends ),
there really is nothing to it.
Kind of like working and climbing your way to the top, what is the point of it?
It's like going to marina barrage, you climb all the way to the top to see nothing.
In the end, it's really nothing except money.
But what if I just want to remain lost forever.
what if I just want to remain in constant awe of the world and surviving on minimum wage
and just be 'regular', cycle to work, paint at a home, read.
If I can be all that then I think I want out of this competition.
But like I said I'm a true testament of bad faith and contradiction.
Maybe the reason why I like whoring my life here is because I feel like most of you are doing it all wrong.
But I'm probably wrong. What do I know!
I like live in a country the size of the mole on my upperlip on the map and I don't go out much anymore.

xx